Facebook obsessive

Here's number two of my 'step back in time' blog posts - only another twelve to go and then you might get something new from me.

SECOND BLOG 23.10.13

Last week I wrote and published my very first blog post. I’d dreamt of that moment for so long (sad but true) and I think it went down quite well ... OK, without disaster. It’s a weird thing. As I tend to live much of my life on, or through, Facebook I can sometimes spend whole minutes thinking up how to phrase my next status update. Often obsessively so. Occasionally, I can come up with long, eloquent, sometimes pithy statements. At other times I can litter my feed with many amusing ‘memes‘ found on funnier pages. I even kept my legion of friends (OK, about 30 of them) regularly amused with my summer of 2013's exploits of a brief excursion into the local A&E department and subsequent two night stay in hospital after carelessly breaking my ankle, whereupon I lived with some octogenarians very briefly learning their nocturnal habits. (In conclusion they burp and fart a lot, and they DON’T CARE. Big up to my main gal, Betty!)

But what to write this week? Well, I doubt that it’ll make for a gripping blog if I just whine about what I’m planning to write, so I’ll pull on my Dubarry* boots and plunge straight in.

I have worked for ‘The Man’ for the past twenty-four years, and whilst some of it’s been great, a lot of it’s been total bull-plop. So, in February, when I was presented with the option of redundancy, I took about half an hour to consider it and decided yes, it was the way to go. Since then I’ve had a perfectly dreadful (*sarcasm alert*) eight months. And yet, best summed up by Bob Dylan:

“A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and gets to bed at night, and in between he does what he wants to do.”

I have had at least one pub lunch (if not two) a week, with a restaurant meal every other week. I’ve taken long walks in the countryside with dog and partner (one of which resulted in the broken ankle - which I believe is a direct consequence of pride coming before a fall.) I’ve sunbathed every day for several hours through one of the best summers we’ve had for the last seven years, even though I did end up with the strangest tan line ever - with a plaster cast up to my left knee. It’s still the best tan I’ve ever had.

I’ve been to horse trials and dog shows, had a polo lesson and picnics, visited friends and had them to stay. I’ve virtually lived on Facebook, which I consider my diary, and have become an Auntie (which obviously I had very little to do with!) I’ve gone Sober for October, and for the first couple of weeks realised how much I like the taste of a great Spanish red, and how I enjoy the sensory feel of a well-balanced wine glass in my hand. Then, after buying myself a ‘Golden Ticket‘ and drinking two glasses of said wine, actually wished I hadn’t as I literally felt my memory becoming sketchy and letting go of things from that evening that I wanted to hold onto for longer. I’ve rekindled old friendships, so it feels like I’m fifteen again, and discovered long lost friends that I haven’t heard from in thirty-four years.

I’ve learnt a little about American politics. I’ve sold my house. Worked on this very website with my talented friend Sarah Simpkins at Tonik Branding. Discovered that now I’m in my forties life isn’t all about what you possess but the friends and family that you have. In fact I’ve decided that I’d rather sell most of my possessions and aspire to adhere to William Morris’ advice, (and can thank my friend Leanne for informing me of in the first place):

‘If you want a golden rule that will fit everybody, this is it: Have nothing in your houses that you do not know to be useful, or believe to be beautiful.’

During this period I have also been reading Oliver James’ ‘Affluenza’ (published by Vermilion, 2007), where the ‘Affluenza Virus’ is “the placing of a high value on money, possessions, appearances (physical and social) and fame.” Something that I’m sure we may agree might have affected us or someone close to us in recent years. He goes on to write, “Many international studies have shown that people who hold such values are at a greater risk of being emotionally distressed - depressed, anxious, substance abusing and personality-disordered.”

I have taken solace in the fact that I have become somewhat immune to the ‘Virus’ in recent years and, as aforementioned, would rather shed my possessions than actively seek any more. My change in circumstances this year has certainly helped to push this along a little quicker, or build up my ‘immunity’ if you will.

So, it makes me very happy to be able to use a Theodore Roosevelt quote, by saying -

“Far and away the best prize life has to offer is the chance to work hard at work worth doing.”

Now I’m not saying correcting other people’s spelling mistakes or writing them copy is as worthwhile as someone in the nursing or teaching professions, but to me it is something that I can do fairly easily, with little stress and that I enjoy. Back to Oliver James for this:“The opposite of Virus motivation is known as intrinsic motivation. Here, you do things for the pleasure of the activity itself, the getting there rather than the arriving, the process by which a result is achieved rather than its completion. Typical intrinsic goals are supporting others, beauty and self-expression.

“The studies prove that, overall, people with intrinsic motives and goals tend to be emotionally better off than those who have exclusively Virus ones. However, it’s not a simple case of ‘Virus bad, intrinsic good’. There are also people who manage to mix and match, without becoming distressed. ... the studies also show that people who have intrinsic motives for pursuing them are less likely to suffer.”

For me, life is now much more about the simple pleasures - a roof over my head, a bed, my partner, our dog, a good book, friends, family, and enough money for a nice meal out on occasion and to put fuel in the Audi*. Anything else is a bonus - and I can’t recommend this way of life highly enough.

*You see I do like some ‘names’, some of the Virus lurks within, but I can manage the symptoms these days. Having been so focused on money and being a bit of a ‘bread-head’ for the first half of my life, I like the older me more. I’m a much cheaper date.